Death In A Soul Mirror
by Perilous Velocity
Summary: For 'Black, black heart: the remorseful villains' Challenge. Death in Draco's life. Bits of Draco/Astoria, but mostly it's about Draco and his life in HBP and DH.


_Challenge:_ Black, Black heart: the remorseful villains challenge by Rameelia on the magnificent HP FF Challenges Forum_.  
Characters/Pairings_: Draco Malfoy, Astoria Greengrass, Scorpius Malfoy / a few bits of Draco/Astoria_  
Word Count:_ 826_  
Prompt:_ death_  
Disclaimer:_ Simply no._  
A/N:_ Okay, the challenge says I should present one situation that makes my character regret things. But I've written more than one since my Science, History and Polish lessons were very boring. So let's say the rest is some kind of a background. Or just what it really is – several situations.

This story is the longest I've ever written in English. I'm extremely happy.

I hope you'll enjoy this story. If you notice any mistakes, let me know. I appreciate any other forms of feedback, too.

* * *

Although half of his family was Death Eaters, Draco didn't know as a child what exactly death was like. He's never had a pet, never been to a funeral.

But as he walks the Hogwarts corridors with a wand in his trembling hands, death is the only word that plays in his head.

Is he really going to kill Dumbledore?, he asks himself. He must. He must think about his father, his family. Although that's nothing really to fight about.

He stands in front of the headmaster and can't bear the guilt (he hasn't done it yet, but it seems like something was dying in him). It's like he's holding fate in his hands. He can almost feel its taste in his mouth. He doesn't kill, but the word _death_ rings in his head all night long. Even after Death Eaters take him and he is safe. But he can't be really safe, death is all around him. He feels blinded, scared, nauseous, dizzy (and if he had a bit more of bravery in himself, he would end up his life tonight).

* * *

The Dark Lord lives in Malfoy manor now and Draco has never felt more nervous and frightened in his entire life. He tries to spend as much time as he can in his room. It's the only place he feels safe, but still it's not enough.

Death is in his house, in his sanctuary.

* * *

In his room he opens _The Daily Prophet _and reads names of those who are lost or already dead. Or lost with a chance of being dead. And for each one of those unlucky people Draco writes in his notebook _death, death, death_. But he is not the one of those who killed them, he tries to convince himself.

On the other hand, he is a Death Eater, a ticking bomb, death itself.

* * *

Everything's dusty and ruined. People are fighting and death is again all around him, but this time more tangible. Dead bodies lay on the floor, looking at him with empty eyes.

Draco must remind himself that it's not some kind of nightmare, it's the reality – and he wants to be alive. Or so he says to himself.

He tries to hide somewhere and gets to a surprisingly empty corridor. Suddenly a girl jumps out of a corner, her wand pointed straight at him, her face showing light fear. Draco recognizes her as a Greengrass girl, a younger sister of Daphne Greengrass.

He wonders if she could kill him. The girl shouts, "You filthy Death Eater! You bastard!", and Draco knows she won't. She speaks and speaks and gains time to decide what to do next. Draco knows that trick too well.

He can see she has no idea what to do and she's pale, scared, desperate. And so much like him. She looks mature, although she's younger than him. He feels sorry for her, he knows what it feels like to be scared. They stand in front of each other and say nothing. Draco feels as if he was looking in a mirror which shows not faces, but souls. He notices more and more similarities and ignores differences. She's brought up the same as he is (but she does what she wants, anyway). She doesn't want to kill (and is not told to). She feels guilty (but she has no reason). She doesn't know how to fight (but she tries, anyway). Et cetera, et cetera.

Finally she decides and leaves. He goes after her (he must look in this mirror once more) and regrets it immediately. He gets hexed and thinks she's braver and way more different than he thought.

* * *

Years later his son Scorpius, age eleven, asks what the tattoo on his father's arm is. He asked several times when he was younger, but never got the true, simple answer. Mommy was telling him last month about recent wizard history (this month she's telling him about muggle history, although grandma Narcissa argues with her about it all the time) and she talked about Death Eaters. Scorpius is smart and he can associate facts.

Draco looks at his son and he thinks to himself, 'Death.' Then Astoria shows up, takes Scorpius to another room and explains (and the young Malfoy gets to know his family's history, a very sad and miserable story, he judges).

Draco doesn't understand how he managed to get such a happy family life, a loving wife, a loved child. It can be mostly credited to Astoria.

He thinks he doesn't deserve this life as he looks back at what he used to be. He regrets, he mourns and sometimes even cries. However Astoria is always there, sometimes to say some harsh words, sometimes to comfort him.

And still he keeps his notebook, but doesn't use it anymore.

(And when Scorpius is sixteen, Astoria shows him the notebook and tells him the expanded version of their family's story. With all the blood, tears, shouting and death.)


End file.
